I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
