I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
