how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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