Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
