good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
