Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
