Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
it glows. i had to have it.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
