i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
