Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
