I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
