Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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