so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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