So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize