She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
