Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
