You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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