There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
