I just cut my nipple shaving
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Randomize
