oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
