I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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