apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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