Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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