plz talk dirty to me
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
