it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
