Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
