i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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