another moral hangover. fuck.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I came so hard my ears popped.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
