She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
