Is it because I queefed?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
