hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
