So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
