They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
