remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
