How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
