I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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