Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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