also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
The struggles of a small town man whore
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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