Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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