literally had 100 drinks last night.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Randomize
