I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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