the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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