I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Randomize
