i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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