I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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