Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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