even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
