I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
