How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
