return my video game
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
