almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
