never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
