you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
