perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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