But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
