Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
