I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
