just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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