I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
