If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
