Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I will be naked everywhere
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
